Friendship as Refuge 2

A continued conversation with my Mom: What makes her feel alive is having “a really good talk with somebody who is on the same wavelength.” Also, being in an art museum, wonderful smells, silky textures, soft things and safe things. When I asked my Mom what she avoids like the plague, she said, “Small talk. Crowds. Loud music. Boring people. Bad smells. Bodily fluids. Being too hot or too cold.” Do you see why I love this woman?

My Mom’s most boring and least favorite daily activity is watering the plants. She describes it this way, “I resent having to nurture those plants. I want them to just thrive without me. But they’re tattle tails; when I neglect them it shows.”

Mom has learned that the most important health practices for her are eating well and exercising. What started for her as a set of rules has evolved into an understanding that “this is how we’re made.” She also believes that fun and intimacy are essential for good health.

What makes my Mom brave? Needing to stand up for herself or somebody else. Being brought to her knees has taught her how strong she is. She feels that nobody knows how strong they are until they’ve been brought to their knees. Mom finds wisdom in her daughters and granddaughters, friends, her church, things that she reads and in her own thoughts.

Mom lists several people as her heros:
1. Anne Lamott is an American writer. Mom says, “she is an expert at practical spirituality and is brave about being vulnerable.”
2. Albert Einstein “lived well, took care of himself spiritually, loved classical music, knew the Bible, and was a fine humanitarian.”
3. Walter Isaacson, an American biographer, “captures the personalities and times of the people he writes about in deep, deep ways.”
4. Aaron Sorkin is a screenwriter and producer of shows such as The West Wing and The News Room. When I asked my Mom how she even knew that guy’s name, she told me, “I read credits. I’m a credit freak.” (Again, I love this woman.) She says Sorkin “encourages us to be idealistic. He engenders hope in a time when we really need it.”

Now that my Mom is retired, her calendar is clear and her obligations are few. So she’s pondering, “What is life about for me now?” And “Does balance have to be intentional, or if you follow your intuition, will it flow?”

Dear Mom,
Thank you for letting me tell a part of your story. I hope when you see yourself in my words, you will know what a truly fascinating and dynamic woman you are. Even if we weren’t family, I’d pick you for a friend. There is refuge for me in my friendship with you.
Love, Tara

P.S. This is for you:
Onomatopoeia is defined as a word which imitates the natural sounds of a thing. It creates a sound effect that mimics the thing described, making the description more expressive and interesting.
plop, splash, gush, sprinkle, drizzle, drip, growl, giggle, grunt, murmur, blurt, swish, swoosh, whiff, whoosh, whizz, whisper

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