More from my night of worship with Kari Jobe and friends…
Worshipping next to my daughter slays me. My awareness of the fires and trials that she has walked through makes her worship of the One Who saved her so HOLY. I almost can’t look, for two reasons: (1) I fear that if I look at her, I will cry for eternity. Tears of sadness and despair over the memory of watching my daughter get burned by the very fire she set—her self-serving, self-destructive, self-sabotaging fire. The kindling was desire—for attention, love, approval, the desire to be desired; the logs were her deception—self-deception and deceiving those she loved; the flame was ignited by sin, the sin of taking her life into her own hands and walking away from God, her Creator and Protector. (2) My daughter’s healing is fresh and her relationship with Jesus is intimate. It feels like a breach of her privacy to watch her worship. The only earthly experience I can relate it to is when my Mom told me that she witnessed such intimacy between my husband and myself as we danced on our wedding day, that she had to look away.
But during that night of worship, God told me to LOOK; look at my daughter as she worships. What did I see? Utter beauty. No burns. She didn’t even smell like smoke. Face upturned to the One Who saved her. Innocence. Restoration. Freedom. Angels singing over her. Evidence of the reality of the healing love and saving grace of God. Hands outstretched to heaven, ready to give and receive. My baby is a baby again, safe in the arms of the One Who made her. No fear. No shame.
And I did cry. I cried for Eternity. I cried wordlessly with my girl, releasing pain and despair and receiving healing and grace and love overflowing. I cried for Eternity, in tears and thanksgiving and songs of joy and praise. The Eternal One has saved my daughter and is making her new. Amen.
And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18